Sometimes we cause much more trouble wanting to say something to alleviate grief. And by doing that we are showing that grief is not good, should be cut short.
But it is great to grief. I know many people are itching to say something, and sometimes say the most inappropriate thing trying to help. Because over my life I have seen it. Where someone rubs your shoulder, takes you away, puts a coca-cola in your hand and says: hey come on let's go for a walk. To distract you from grief.
I would say no, be very much in that moment of grief. If it takes you all day, all week, all month, allow it. It’s a friend. It’s also an expression of grace.
Cry buckets of tears if that’s what to come.
Be emptied of it.
It’s important for you to grief.
To have this moment because we don’t know when another one will come. Another opportunity. To be alone, feel that grief.
And when your emptied of grief, then the grief is over.
And something is deeply alive, when grief is allowed to be expressed. To exhaust its expression, then behind this grief is some profound silence. It’s like a rest. No-one can tell you when that rest is complete. It’s an intuitive thing.
Let it out.
Then it's clean, it's finished and silence comes. That needs to be felt. That brings you again sitting inside your own heart again