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Repost: Elizabeth Gilbert on talking to our lost loved ones


Elizabeth Gilbert and Rayya

In 2018 Elizabeth Gilbert lost her best friend and life partner. On Instagram, as well as other media platforms, she inspires us how she is coping with that loss.


Gilbert's open mind, honest words and unrestrained view on life and death, feed the special habits in that bizar space of mourning and grief. They create the things that take her through the day. We share a few of those words, acts, and self-created rituals on the deyja blog, to also invite our own open mind and creativity into that space.


Gilbert writes on instagram november 2018:

"I want to share something with you. This is a screenshot of the voice memos on my phone. What you see here are messages that I’ve left over last few months for Rayya. This is a practice I started last spring, because I missed talking to her so much that it was killing me. I NEEDED to talk to her. Then I discovered that the act of leaving her a “message” on my phone makes me feel like I’m in communication with her. Something about the fact that the message is being recorded makes me feel like it’s being received."


Speaking to Rayya: communicating with our lost loved ones

"So I get to talk to her, laugh with her, cry with her. Talking to her in this way brings her near to me. I have other practices, too, that help bring Rayya near. Every morning for the last few months, for example, I have danced. I say to Rayya: “You pick the song”, then I hit SHUFFLE, and I dance to whatever music she chooses. Sometimes it’s AC/DC, sometimes it’s Mozart. It’s always perfect. This is how I get to dance with her, and dance out my grief. I also write to her. When I need her irreplaceable advice, I open my laptop and type the words: “I need you Rayya,” then I allow my fingers to type her responses. She’s always right there to help me—just as wise & funny as ever."


About death, grief and loss

"It all feels very real. Of course, rational people will say that all this “communication” with Rayya is NOT real—that it’s only happening inside my imagination. To which I say: “Well, then, thank you, Imagination.” Because if ever there is a circumstance in life in which we NEED Imagination, it is while we are grieving. Never have I needed my creativity more, than as I navigate this devastating loss. I refuse to passively wait for signs, visions, or healing. I am unembarrassed to create my own healing. I will demand from Rayya, and from Spirit, whatever my heart needs. I cannot live without Rayya, so I don’t: I draw her near. For anyone who is suffering loss, I encourage you: Be creative. Be INVENTIVE. Be strange. Demand union. Find ways. This is the art form that I am mastering right now: The art of eternal connection. Nothing matters more. You can do this, too. Love wants you to reach out. Your beloved is RIGHT THERE. Keep them near. Create, create, create.

❤️ Onward. LG"


Follow Elizabeth Gilbert on Instagram ➝

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